PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
