Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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