I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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