For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
