Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
