would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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