It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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