I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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