Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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