Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
