On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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