Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
