Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
