If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize