wanna go halves on a baby?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
