I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
