part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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