I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
