the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
