I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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