you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
