I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
