It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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