I need help removing her.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
