He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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