first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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