so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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