rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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