Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
