Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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