Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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