I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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