I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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