If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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