i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
