I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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