Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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