Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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