Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
