turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Floor bacon is actually really good
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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