so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
