Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
