brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
