Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you guys were way drunker than both of me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
