In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
