Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
