i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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