Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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