I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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