im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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